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July 9th, 2008

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April 27th, 2008

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January 23rd, 2008

10:17 pm I can't believe Heath Ledger is dead. Current Mood: curious

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December 27th, 2007

08:13 pm - Don't start reading this unless you intend to finish it? With the clock ticking slowly, but the year turning over so quickly, I decided that it's time to do a mini reboot of my oh-so-not-colourful life. So, I started re-reading this novel last night in bed - one which I had put aside months ago because I just could not be bothered with being conscientious and all bookworm-y now that I've finally launched a career. Surprise surprise, after reading it for about an hour, I was quite sold to the idea of completing what I initially had no intention of finishing. I got up at about eleven this morning and as usual, I reached out for my favourite Malboros - something that's becoming a bit of a habit these days when I first roll out of bed. Then, I did my usual morning tour of the living room, kitchen and of course the toilet. A few stretches here and there, I finally detoured and headed for my bedroom. Strangely however, I had simultaneously decided that there is nothing better to be done today except to read - and this is something that I would never think of doing, when on holidays. I was told to take a year-end break from work (thank you Mr. Manager), and since going to the gym today was all too much of a pain-in-the-butt seeing that all that executed effort would go to waste on new year's eve anyway, I picked up the same soft-cover that I had indulged in the night before, and started pealing pages for the next six hours or so. In between chapters, I took naps, ate food and smoked more cigarettes. Occassionally, I would get up and prance for about twenty seconds, next to my older brother who was using my laptop to chat (it is something I've always enjoyed doing but I'm not quite sure why), and then got back to reading. All that and the rolling around in bed, I eventually developed a slight case of dry eyes and an aching neck. Somewhere between the blasting of Nyana 2 on the speakers and mum's endless ranting on the phone, I finally decided that it's time I become healthier before 2008 is ushered in (with lots of booze and junk food hopefully?). The clock was showing six in the evening. I got up and grabbed the sexiest blue shorts I ever owned from the laundry that mum had hung out to dry the night before. I changed my top once because the singlet that I wore first was somehow not the apparel that I wanted to pair with my sexy blue shorts. So anyway... (I'm not quite sure how to finish this stupid journal I started writing about twenty minutes ago because mum just cooked this really nice mee goreng and it is calling out to me. Plus, I have not showered since I got back from that jog that left me panting throughout the entire route: I saw this cute sporty-type guy and caught up with him from behind, in my last two hundred metres, before finally giving up because I felt that my heart was going to vomit itself out if I didn't stop running). Well, at least I've managed to write this much after being away for so long (and oh, I actually edited this journal twice, and at two different times of the night, the first time being 8.12 pm). I also realised something about myself today - that in life, and especially in 2007, I've embarked on so many of the-right-thing-to-do-at-that-point-in-time things but never quite finished these activities properly. So yeah, this is the end - let's bring in the new year already... (And now what? Watch a DVD?) Current Location: home of course Current Mood: confused Current Music: colour me badd baby Tags: i am a lost bimbo during the holidays

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November 23rd, 2007

04:36 am And so, the ASEAN Summit 2007 concluded without much fanfare (well, at least for those who were called back for reservist to perform security duty). For years, I havn't been involved in anything that is as big as this... and for so many years too, I've not been involved in shift work duties! It was good to see old-time buddies whom I first got acquainted with when I signed up for National Service, more than seven years ago. The highlight though was the chance to see all the head of states and governments up close and personal! Back to civilian lifestyle, starting next week. It feels so weird... And oh, I need a proper holiday, stat. Current Location: home away from home Current Mood: awake Current Music: chitter chatter on Nova 93.7

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August 12th, 2007

01:19 pm My weekend is approaching its end and boy am I glad I did not go out last night. Kick-started my workout regime this weekend and feeling proud of it. However, I must admit I'd rather prefer not to have to endure the major body aches I'm experiencing right now. Mum's cooking sinful laksa for lunch... Splendid. Current Mood: predatory Current Music: kissfm.com.au

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July 3rd, 2007

01:38 am - The Next Chapter So, yeah it has been a long while since I last bothered to write anything worthy on LJ. Finally, things seem to be falling into place and it feels good to be able to rekindle abandoned relationships with family and friends back at home. Jokes aside, I think this whole career planning exercise has impacted me greatly and despite it taking a big toll on my physical being as well as mental health, many valuable lessons have been learnt. While in transition, I learnt that when in need of help, you should ask for it, but only do so intelligently. Further, I found out that moral support of all sorts, especially those derived from family and close friends, and those who believe in you, is vital in your "pursuit of happyness". Finally, when the going gets tough, the tough should look forward to the end result rather than continuously lamenting about the unfavourable present. This sounds cliche - but yes, pray hard and long, for what you aspire to achieve. Till next time! Current Location: me sweet home Current Mood: hopeful Tags: still alive and kicking!

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January 4th, 2007

12:06 am - 2007 and more... Mutton never tasted so good. Delicious! Current Location: Where my heart is. Current Mood: content Current Music: Jungle Drum and Bass bla bla bla...

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October 4th, 2006

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July 23rd, 2006

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July 5th, 2006

04:21 pm There will come a point during your foolish (mortal) existence where you realise that nothing you do could ever etch a significant mark on another person's life, or even leave a positive impression that will linger everlastingly in another person's mind. On one of those nights, I began to wonder, as I was lying in bed and staring at the ceiling, if Im not getting enough out of life. After all, after having experienced enough highs (im not talking the ones derived chemically), one would think that this weird level of jadedness is to be expected. Whatever it is, its killing me. I know for sure that most of us will have to work hard to get noticed by others - at work, in love and almost every other aspect of life. But how hard and how far should one go? Maybe its a mid 20s insecurity. Or maybe that is the way we are destined to feel for the rest of our lives, the moment we have achieved a certain level of freedom from our very guarded childhood. It's really hard to say whether such a feeling is real or made-up. Perhaps, it stems from the way I was brought up. I dont know, I cant really put a name to this feeling. So many expectations to meet, yet Im encountering too many breakdowns in my early adult life... The past few weeks have been hell. A big fucked-up mash of unusual and un-welcomed emotions. Ahh well... looks like Im destined for another one long roller coaster ride again; apparently an everlasting repeat of the same melodramatics that I experienced not so long ago. I dont think I should put up with this pathetic existence any longer. Im almost completely drained of all my energy to compete, I've been called "pyschotic" several times by my housemate and worst of all, I live in a house that I can't even call my home! Over the past 4 to 5 weeks, I've learnt so many important life lessons with regard to friendship and love. Especially friends and friendship. Funny how life turns out when you plan for it too much. I guess routine and uniformity isn't the key to a happy life after all. "Back to the drawing board my friend", one man told me recently - whatever that means. Undeniably, we all have to fall before we know how to walk properly but unfortunately, one can only be burned a limited number of times and preferably, intermittently . I remember what the big man once told me - that time will heal all wounds and with one glance, that surely works for most of us. However, what if sufficient time hardly passes from the infliction of one wound to another? Will one ever be strong enough to smile again? I guess its foolish for me to be expressing my thoughts openly like this. But maybe, this could be the only one right thing that I havnt done for myself in a while... who knows...? my life seems a perpetual Russian Roulette so far anyway. Its time I made up my mind. Current Location: ins Buro Current Mood: crushed Current Music: horen nicht irgendeine Musik

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May 18th, 2006

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May 11th, 2006

04:44 pm - hmmm You Are 60% Happy You're definitely a happy person, even though you have your down moments. You tend to get the most out of life, though there's always some more happiness to be squeezed. How Happy Are You?

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May 1st, 2006

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March 30th, 2006

10:32 am - Of rants and non-sexual fucks... Focusing at work is something I cannot do today. Maybe I should have volunteered to go for the uni workshop for people who think they worry too much. At this moment in time, Im feeling so unsettled and uneasy with what I have or dont have. Anything and everything could upset me so easily and Im still trying to get to the root of this unsettled feeling. Bobo told me last night that A told him about Whale's refusal to tie the knot because apparently the love is not quite there or something like that. And the voice within me went like... when does it all end?! I mean, Im a man who likes challenges but these sort of mental games is just too much too handle. And now, Im hearing stories about this and that and who wants what...and somehow this whole thing just doesnt sit too well with me. Its all getting too much for me to handle. All I want to do is run away like the wind and be someone else. All that chicky, tina and what have u is doing nothing but more damage. First physical and now mental and emotional. I need a fucking cigarette. **Thanks Bo. You will always be the brother I've always wanted. :)** Current Mood: crushed Current Music: the constant hums of hums...

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March 27th, 2006

12:17 pm - Stop. He knew it all along. I should have listened to him and should have known better. Sigh... here I go again. When does it end?! Current Mood: infuriated

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March 24th, 2006

12:53 pm - A trip?!?!? March 24, 2006 You could be running the full gamut of emotions - both high and low during the coming few days Libra. You could be saved in the nick of time by an unscheduled or "must have" trip that is on offer. This will change your luck as well as levelling your emotional state. Current Mood: calm

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March 14th, 2006

08:13 pm - Neglected expressions... March 14, 2006 There are intuitive vibes rising within you and just now these shifting emotional states can impact dramatically on your partner who might not quite understand where you're coming from. It's your responsibility to express, as best you can, where you're coming from today. Current Mood: anxious

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March 1st, 2006

12:21 pm New place to live in, new party scene by Friday and a new life to boot. Now, I need a new man. Can't wait to be in Sydney for Mardi Gras!!! Current Mood: bouncy

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09:20 am - My cunt of a boss isn't coming in today! Sexy Swimming Behaviour at 0130 is so Sexy. Damn! Current Mood: blah Current Music: chitter chatterings~

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